The Old Coot is too old

I went to a restaurant the other night. I wasn’t that hungry; I just wanted to get a “bite” to eat. I scoured the menu, finally spotting the “children’s” section. It was just what I was looking for, a small bowl of spaghetti, one meatball, a tiny salad, and a hunk of bread. NO DICE! I wasn’t allowed to order from the children’s menu. It was limited to customers age 12 or under. I said, “How about diners under 12 AND also those over 75. We’re about the same level of maturity and have an appetite for a small portion. And, we both act up when we don’t get our way. Ha Ha!”

I tried another strategy; I asked my wife if she wanted to split something. We do this all the time. It’s not just an old person thing; a lot of the pre-social security crowd does it too. Today’s portions are huge, unless you’re in a fancy French restaurant where presentation takes center stage, not volume. But, my wife wasn’t interested; she had her own plan going, ordering a full meal and taking half home. “Why don’t you do that and stop bothering the waitress with your ridiculous request?” 

I just wanted a small meal, and there it was at the bottom of the menu. I was experiencing AGE DISCRIMINATION. Maybe I should sue! Then, I got THE LOOK from my wife, but the waitress solved the problem. She suggested I order a side order of the items I wanted. That’s what I did. It cost me a few extra bucks, but money wasn’t the issue, though it usually is for an old coot like me; I’m basically a cheapskate. The trouble with this option is that some restaurants won’t sell you a “side” unless you order an entrée. Thankfully, none of my favorite places to eat do this.  

I still think the children’s meal should be an option for the over 75 crowd, or even people over 65. MacDonald’s doesn’t blink an eye when I order a “Kids meal.”  The toys are kind of cool too. 

Comments? Complaints? Send to

Be the first to comment on "The Old Coot is too old"

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.