The Old Coot is a fashion guru?

This is a fashion critique. What does an old coot know about fashion? With pants belted at the rib cage, white socks with black shoes, a Mister Rogers sweater and the like? Not much. BUT, like the little kid in “The Emperor’s New Clothes” who pointed out that the emperor wasn’t wearing anything, I point out that today’s “emperor” equivalent are men in skinny pants whose legs are stuffed into a space that is too small for the stuffing. Like the story emperor; nobody tells them the truth either.  

 It started as a young person fashion, these skinny pants, but now it has gone mainstream. A nice look, I’ll admit, on teens and the under thirty crowd. But it slips off the fashion runway with older wearers. TOO skinny, is the problem. Men in suits wear the pants that bag up, above and below their kneecaps, creating a lumpy gnarled mess. Not bad for a waist up view, but not so hot when the wearer stands up and we get to see skinny pant legs. 

It reminds me of my junior high school days when the fashion rage was pegged pants. Pant legs tapered from mid-thigh to shoe top. They were so tight at the bottom you could barely get them over your foot. Some of the rich kids had zippers sewn in at the bottom so they could slide them on.  

My parents wouldn’t spring for a tailor, which was the only way you could get pegged pants. They weren’t available off the rack. My mother said,” NO,” when I asked her to alter mine. So, I did it myself, but not very well. My taper started at the knee and went straight down to the ankle. No taper at all; a perfect pair of riding pants for a horseman, which I was not. I tried to act cool as I strutted down the halls of West Junior High, but it was a hard image to retain amid the giggles, chuckles and finger pointing at my back. 

Now, 60 odd years later, I can do the chuckling at the men strutting around with pant legs all wadded up. “If you don’t have skinny legs; don’t buy these pants,” is a warning that should be attached to the merchandise. “Try the slim fit and see how that goes. 

Enough said! Women in leggings are next on my fashion critique. If I’m smart, I’ll never get to it.  

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